I can't believe I'm writing about this, but I was inspired to do so after journaling this morning, so I thought I'd give it a try. My title comes from a question written by a teenager from my church, which will be posed later at a "Ask the Rector" youth meeting. The question is on my mind right now because I am an Episcopalian and our greater church, the world wide Anglican community, has just finshed discussing this very topic at a meeting in Africa. I am also thinking about it as Ellen Degeneres gets ready to host the Oscars this Sunday. I remember so well when she came out on her show - I cried because I cared so deeply about her being able to represent herself to the world as she is and to receive the love of those who can embrace her as she is. I want that for everyone.
I had a conversaton about this with a friend (also an Episcopalian) who took the other side. It was a very spirited and respectful discussion, where we didn't change one another's minds, but we did really listen to one another. My aunt, whom I admire and think is very wise, left my church over this topic. Her husband is a Psychiatrist who believes that the best way to help a gay person is to help them change their orientation. In my work as a Therapist and Life Coach I try to help people accept themselves and find love as they are. I truly believe that God does love every one of us exactly as we are. Furthermore, I believe that God made the world as it is, with all of nature falling along a continuum, a bell curve if you will. Most living things cluster around the middle, but some of creation falls along the edges of the curve. That's just the way nature is, and humans are part of God's natural world. In my mind, if someone feels different and on the edge of the curve, life is hard enough, and Jesus would have given them extra doses of love if He had come across them.
You know that question "What would Jesus do?" As I read the Bible, I get the impression that the Old Testament, particularly Leviticus, set out rules of conduct and order so that those listening would create a loving and orderly civilization. In Leviticus it tells us to let our fruit trees grow to maturity before we pick the fruit and not to have sex with animals. Both pretty good ideas, even in this day and age. But the injunction against eating pork is no longer strictly followed by many people because we know how to keep ourselves safe when we eat pork. When Jesus came along, he said to the Pharisees "You're getting so caught up in the letter of the law that you've lost the life affirming spirit held within the law. What about the love?" He healed people on the Sabbath because people were more important to him than the law alone.
It seems to me that when people use the Bible to reject homosexuality, they have lost the life affirming spirit held within the Bible; they've gotten caught up in the letter of the law. I truly believe that Jesus would say that if He were walking around on earth today. Over and over Jesus' message was "It's about the love. It's about the love."
Most of us believe that God is Love, and that when we use love as our guide we can't go wrong. So I am charged with the holy task of loving those who don't agree with me. As I read the accounts of the meeting in Africa, it seems to me that the leaders of the Anglican church are trying to do exactly this, to remain loving of one another and respect the other's point of view, even as strong, contentious feelings swirl around them. I picture them together in Africa, trying to feel God's grace amongst them equally as they take communion, turning to one another and saying "May the peace of the Lord be with you... And also with you."
May peace be with all of us, not just my church but the world, as we seek to find our way on this emotionally charged topic. It is my sincere belief that if we just keep loving one another, we'll be alright.
