A Blog for Your Month

What a Difference a Word Makes ~ A Reaching Happiness Blog

Lately I’ve been changing the thought “I have to” into the thought “I get to.” You’d be surprised what a difference that makes. I have to do the laundry becomes I get to do the laundry. I get to smell the clothes and touch my face to their warmth when they come out of the dryer. I get to have clean clothes to wear. I get to do something productive that really doesn’t take that much time. I get to use a washer and dryer conveniently located inside my home instead of cleaning my clothes in any manner of ways that other people do. Washing them in a stream for instance.

What can you come up with when you change “I have to” to “I get to?” One of my definite “get to’s” used to be driving my son to school in the mornings. We had a routine. Pop his oatmeal in the microwave, toast his bagel, stir his instant breakfast, and most importantly, brew my coffee. Juggle all that with his books and whatnot out to the car and strap ourselves in for breakfast (him), coffee (me) and radio (KFog). What a great station. Not only did they play good tunes, but they had great conversations, which sometimes led us into great conversations. And the mountains! As we headed in the direction of the hills surrounding San Jose, the sun would be just cresting off the mountains. I loved that sight. The whole experience was lovely, which was not to say that I never wished I was sleeping in or that he went to a school closer to us. But most of the time, I definitely felt like “I get to. I get to drive my son to school and it’s alright.”

What about now? I get to pick up the dog’s poop? That’s a tough one. I was complaining inside my head about it today in fact. Let’s consider. He is still alive, two years after we were told he wouldn’t be. That’s a definite get to. He does tend to go in one area, which is really quite considerate of him. How long does it take me to pick it all up? Five minutes? That’s not too bad. Not as good as the sun on the mountains, but maybe I could take in the garden for a moment while I’m out there.

What else? I get to write these to you, and many of you tell me you like what I say. I get to help. That’s such a plus in my life. I get to make a difference. I am so grateful for that.
And I get to laugh. Almost every day I laugh with someone about something. So work is great. I get to work.

And I get to break up my work day with a walk. I love my walk! There was a time when that was a definite “have to,” mainly because of the dog. Now it feeds my soul. Even after the dog was too old to do it, I’ve kept going. It keeps me in shape, and it’s become a form of meditation. When I occasionally have to miss it I can’t wait to get back to it.

I urge you to try this simple change of words. It’s amazing how just spending a few minutes playing with this can change your outlook and your mood. And that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Enjoying this life as we are living it. Not waiting for it to get better, but creating it better, right here and now. I get to, I get to, I get to. And just see how much better it gets.

with love and light ~ Janet   www.reachinghappiness.com

More Than Just a Body ~ A Way More Woo Woo Blog*

I keep telling myself that I am not a body. But I’m having a hard time believing it. According to A Course in Miracles most of our problems come from identifying too closely with our physical selves and not identifying enough with our spirit selves. I like to think of our spirits as ambassadors from another plane. (Plane and planet are pretty close as words...interesting.) Anyway, I think of our spirits as here to spread love. I picture us, in this other dimension where we’re not bodies, saying “me, me! I’ll go! I just know I can remember that I’m made of love this time!” Then we get here and we get schooled in the reality of being a body. By the time we’re two we can tell everyone what our name is, who our mommy is, how big we are, and where to find our nose and our toes. We are taught the curriculum of the physical world.

I once went to a psychology lecture where the instructor said “without an ego you can’t get on the bus.” Our physical, bodily selves are necessary for moving around in this world, so I don’t want to discount them. But somewhere along the line in life we lose the knowledge that we are more than physical. We lose the knowledge that We are the thing that animates the physical, the Life within. I think our physical lives would flow better if we identified more with the non-physical.

You could call it Presence. I’m in a Covenant Group studying Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth. This will be the third time I’ve read it. I keep rereading it because I keep forgetting about Presence, the same way I keep forgetting that I am not a body. If I really focus on being still for a moment and feel the breath coming in and out of my nose, I can fleetingly sense the Presence within and beyond my body.

This is good news when it’s not going so well with the body. My husband was up quite a bit last night, in pain, and my sleep was affected by my awareness that he was in pain. We have discovered that our sleep is often marked by tension. I hold mine especially in my jaw. I know I’m not alone in this. As we age, the stresses of life seem to accumulate and our bodies hold it all. When I wake up in the morning and feel the effects of tense muscles it helps to know that I am more than just a body. When my husband is in pain, it helps to know that he is not just a body. It helps me, anyway. I'm not sure he would agree. But if I can remember that I am not a body and I can click into being that ambassador of love, I believe it helps him, too.

(*this blog is especially for the clients and friends who like to explore the bounds of reality with me)

My Growing Edge...or you had me at hello?

Okay, I'm out here on my growing edge again. I just spent quite a bit of time and money on a course that teaches me how to market myself with heart. The heart piece drew me in. The first day of the seminar, the leader told us to go out and sell ourselves with heart during our lunch break. And I thought "Are you kidding me? I don't even talk to strangers, much less walk up and offer to coach them." Needless to say I took the "easy" way out and spent my lunch break coaching a fellow attendee who wants to attract a man into her life.

But the next day, with fear and trepidation, I joined my homework partners and scoured the streets and stores, looking for people who might want coaching help. Our assignment that day was to get three people to say no to us...because if we're willing to get a "no" we're more likely to get a "yes." At least it got me talking to strangers. And it turned out to be kind of fun.

I knew what I was getting into when I signed up for this course. To be honest, I really signed up because I have been shy all my life, and I wanted to develop my ability to converse easily with people I don't know. I wanted to put myself in a situation that required me to push past my outer edge. I believe with my whole heart that we are all One Being. So why don't I feel that oneness when I see someone I don't know? Why do I feel shy and awkward and assume that they don't want to talk to me?

As I did the "no" exercise I found out some interesting and touching things about the strangers I met. There was the store clerk who had a tattoo in memory of a sister who had died before the clerk was born. Another woman told me she feels proud of her ability to say "no." She's learned it through life's hard knocks. I really do enjoy people and like hearing their stories. Since I have made a commitment to talk with people out there in the world every day, I am finding out that the minute I notice them and say hello, they give me a little window into their world. That's kind of special.

Whenever I grow, my realizations seem to come in stages. Now that I'm getting better at approaching  people, it has dawned on me that I don't believe people want to hear about me. I would be mortified if I found out that someone experienced me as pushy. Since my personal space is important to me, I am very respectful of another person's space and privacy. So today this is my growing edge...to push myself into the space a little. To trust that they will welcome me; they will feel our oneness and that I will sense how far to enter while remaining respectful.

Whew! Even as I write that I want to backpedal as fast as I can! The shy part of me wants to eat or get busy with something else, like writing this blog. Why? What is it? What am I afraid of?...pause and listen...I am afraid of my limitations showing, right out there in the open. That people will feel my awkwardness and think "What's up with her?" They'll spot my imperfections, maybe before I do and I won't have a chance to cover them. Now that's mortifying. Or is it? In this culture we're not supposed to show our inadequacies. But I am here to say that I find imperfections endearing, when someone has the guts to let them be seen.

And now, with that new awareness, I am ready to go out and enter into the world of strangers again, joining them in what matters to them for just a moment. If my inadequacies show, so be it. Maybe we'll connect. I know I connect better with people who aren't smooth and polished. That's the last thing I want in a salesperson.

So here I go. Sometimes I don't know why I put myself through new challenges like this. But I do know that every time I do, in the end I'm grateful. And I'm grateful to you for listening.           ~ Janet

If you don't receive my Quote of the Week, and you'd like to, please send me an e-mail at janet@reachinghappiness.com.