My three most memorable Valentine's Days were not about romantic love. The first was in my childhood. On Valentine's night my mom put a little party favor at each of our places at the table. I don't remember what the special treat was, but I remember that it took an ordinary, middle of the week on a school night dinner and turned it into a party! I must have needed a boost. Either that or we didn't get many out of the ordinary treats back in the day, because it made quite an impression on me ~ so much so that I made sure to have a party favor at dinner every Valentine's night of my son's childhood.
My second most memorable Valentine's Day was in 8th grade. We went straight from elementary school to high school and in 8th grade we were classified as "subfreshmen"... definitely the low kids on the totem pole in a huge school with way bigger kids! That year the school spirit club decided to have a Valentine's "Mr. Irresistible" contest. The girls bought construction paper hearts for 25 cents and pinned them to our blouses. The hearts read "I resist." Then all the boys, in every grade, would knock themselves out to get us to talk to them. If we said anything at all, they "won" our heart and they pinned it on themselves, turning it to the side that said "I'm irresistible." I mean to tell you, as an 8th grade girl it was really something to have all the boys, even Seniors, doing anything they could to get you to talk to them. They even picked us up!
My last special memory was one year when I was single and I decided I didn't want to feel left out on Valentine's Day. I made cards for all my friends and family, everyone I loved, and delivered them. That Valentine's Day was so amazing. I learned that my circumstances didn't dictate my experience of the day and neither did the conventions of my culture.
I am not meaning to imply that Valentine's Days with my husband are not lovely. They are. But I think it is worth noting that each of my significant memories is about a different kind of love ~ a mother's love, the love of kids having a good time together, the love of community. I would like to suggest that if we broaden our definition of Valentine's Love, the day would be one of inclusion rather than exclusion. Instead of emphasizing flowers, dinner, chocolate and sex we could use the day as an opportunity to add love to our human family. And every one of us could celebrate in style. Because we are all loving and we are all worth loving, whether we are in a relationship or not.
Here's to you. I hope your Valentine's Day is memorable, and I hope you make it yours. ~ Janet
www.reachinghappiness.com
